Granny Logan thinks we're communists.

Jun 03

[video]

me: hi
Sherlock: hm, weird love of the internet, avid reader, dances, ships everyone with everyone, ships.. me and John? Ok then.. Has an obsession with fictional characters to an extent where you can hardly see reality from fiction. Fangirls over everything. Has so many fandoms that you think you're going to have a heart attack, John, this girl is in need of mental help.
me: let me love you.

[video]

Is that Jay Leno?

[video]

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

[video]

this won’t ruin your blog.

(Source: claudetc, via t0wel)

[video]

close enough

(Source: roboticop, via t0wel)